The Beautiful Ugly Truth

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Gross huh? Yes this is MY chin. Yes this is PCOS in the flesh for you, literally. One of the main symptoms of PCOS is called hirsutism excessive hair growth on women where hair does not traditionally grow or is minimal.  Although I’m extremely embarrassed to show this I want to be very candid and honest. One of my best male friends will probably text me after this post and say “I always knew you were a man!” LOL Its friends like him and family that keep me going. I know I’m not alone in this. I know there are so many women dealing with the “chin hair blues”. Some of you who may not even have PCOS but know that the best lighting is in your car with your visor mirror down anytime between 7:30am and 4:30pm on a beautiful sunny day! Or the mirror at work with the fluorescent lights! When I used to be a flight attendant I would go into the laboratories and come out with the cleanest shave!! LOL (Of course this was after I was done with my shift)  “Chin hair blues” make you keep your tweezers around like your license or credit card! I don’t leave home without it! Now I know some of you are “pluckers”, “waxers”, or “shavers”. I am a professional “plucker”. I have tried waxing and I’m too scared to shave. I’ve thought about electrolysis. That’s all it has ever been was a thought. Now some of us have chin hair and a mustache (raises hand). Now when it comes it to the mustache I’m ‘scurred’ I leave my baby ‘stache’ alone! I’m always open to suggestions….

I can remember one of my first fertility appointments the doctor sat down with me for a consultation he looked at me and said “I see your facial hair. Have you ever been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome?” I laughed a little to myself “why he looking at my beard?” I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2003 after one of my cysts ruptured.  I saw my OB-GYN and she explained nothing about what the condition was and prescribed birth control as remedy to control it. I went on my merry way for the next seven years not knowing what I was dealing with.  Now I was sitting with this doctor checking out my beard telling me that PCOS along with my endometriosis (I will save that topic for another day) was contributing to me not conceiving. It wasn’t until I was with my military sisters (other military wives) for an outing and was asked the famous “no kids yet?” I opened up about my fertility woes. One of them explained she and her husband had tried for ten years to get pregnant and she had PCOS. She was the first person to educate me on exactly what PCOS entailed. She was the type of woman who was knowledgeable on all things and because she had PCOS she was going to find out everything about it. It was then that I learned of the hormonal aspect of PCOS and being insulin resistant. Once I began doing my research for myself from the websites she directed me to I became engrossed in the information I found.  It was as if someone had been watching me the last decade and writing about it all over the Internet. My crazy hormonal rages before my cycles, this pain that would make me crawl up in the fetal position every month with or without menstruating, the missed cycles up to nine months, the inconsistent period here or there, the fluctuating   weight. For years I thought the pain was normal and every woman experienced. I actually thought most of it was normal.  Now I can’t blame all the pain on PCOS. Endometriosis was the real culprit of the pain but PCOS would have me so tender especially on my right side near my ovaries. I learned so much about myself and how my body was responding. I still did not want to accept it or use it, as what I thought was an excuse. So I did what we women do best I didn’t deal with it. Now here I am 3 years later after finding out all the information, a little over 10 years after being diagnosed with PCOS that I’m ready to “deal” with it the condition. There is no cure. I have to live with it…I’m ready to embrace it.

That day I also gained something so beautiful I learned what hope was because after those ten years of her and hubby trying they had a beautiful baby girl. I hope she reads this and realize the hope she instilled in me and the inspiration to start this journey… THANK YOU

1 Comment on The Beautiful Ugly Truth

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    November 10, 2014 at 4:07 am (6 years ago)

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